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V
WILFUL MURDER OF the various robberies in
which we were both concerned, it is but the few, I find, that will bear
telling
at any length. Not that the others contained details which even I
would
hesitate to recount; it is, rather, the very absence of untoward
incident
which renders them useless for my present purpose. In point of fact our
plans
were so craftily laid (by Raffles) that the chances of a hitch were
invariably
reduced to a minimum before we went to work. We might be disappointed
in the
market value of our haul; but it was quite the exception for us to find
ourselves confronted by unforeseen impediments, or involved in a
really
dramatic dilemma. There was a sameness even in our spoil; for, of
course, only
the most precious stones are worth the trouble we took and the risks we
ran. In
short, our most successful escapades would prove the greatest weariness
of all
in narrative form; and none more so than the dull affair of the Ardagh
emeralds,
some eight or nine weeks after the Milchester cricket week. The former,
however,
had a sequel that I would rather forget than all our burglaries put
together. It was the evening after our
return from Ireland, and I was waiting at my rooms for Raffles, who had
gone
off as usual to dispose of the plunder. Raffles had his own method of
conducting this very vital branch of our business, which I was well
content to
leave entirely in his hands. He drove the bargains, I believe, in a
thin but
subtle disguise of the flashy-seedy order, and always in the Cockney
dialect
of which he had made himself a master. Moreover, he invariably
employed the
same “fence,” who was ostensibly a money-lender in a small (but yet
notorious)
way, and in reality a rascal as remarkable as Raffles himself. Only
lately I
also had been to the man, but in my proper person. We had needed
capital for
the getting of these very emeralds, and I had raised a hundred pounds,
on the
terms you would expect, from a soft-spoken greybeard with an
ingratiating
smile, an incessant bow, and the shiftiest old eyes that ever flew from
rim to
rim of a pair of spectacles. So the original sinews and the final
spoils of war
came in this case from the self-same source — a circumstance which
appealed to
us both. But these same final spoils
I was still to see, and I waited and waited with an impatience that
grew upon
me with the growing dusk. At my open window I had played Sister Ann
until the
faces in the street below were no longer distinguishable. And now I
was tearing
to and fro in the grip of horrible hypotheses — a grip that tightened
when at
last the lift-gates opened with a clatter outside — that held me
breathless until
a well-known tattoo followed on my door. “In the dark!” said Raffles
as I dragged him in. “Why, Bunny, what’s wrong?” “Nothing — now you’ve come,”
said I, shutting the door behind him in a fever of relief and anxiety. “Well? Well? What did they
fetch?” “Five hundred.” “Down?” “Got it in my pocket” “Good man!” I cried. “You
don’t know what a stew I’ve been in. I’ll switch on the light. I’ve
been
thinking of you and nothing else for the last hour. I — I was ass
enough to
think something had gone wrong!” Raffles was smiling when the
white light filled the room, but for the moment I did not perceive the
peculiarity of his smile. I was fatuously full of my own late tremors
and
present relief; and my first idiotic act was to spill some whisky and
squirt
the soda-water all over in my anxiety to do instant justice to the
occasion. “So you thought something
had happened?” said Raffles, leaning back in my chair as he lit a
cigarette,
and looking much amused. “What should you say if something had? Sit
tight, my
dear chap! It was nothing of the slightest consequence, and it’s all
over now.
A stern chase and a long one, Bunny, but I think I’m well to windward
this
time.” And suddenly I saw that his
collar was limp, his hair matted, his boots thick with dust. “The police?” I
whispered aghast. “Oh dear, no; only old Baird.” “Baird! But wasn’t it Baird who
took the emeralds?” “It was.” “Then how came he to chase
you?” “My dear fellow, I’ll tell
you if you give me a chance; it’s really nothing to get in the least
excited
about. Old Baird has at last spotted that I’m not quite the common
cracksman I
would have him think me. So he’s been doing his best to run me to my
burrow.” “And you call that nothing!” “It would be something if he
had succeeded; but he has still to do that. I admit, however, that he
made me
sit up for the time being. It all comes of going on the job so far from
home.
There was the old brute with the whole thing in his morning paper. He knew
it must have been done by some fellow who could pass himself off for a
gentleman, and I saw his eyebrows go up the moment I told him I was
the man, with
the same old twang that you could cut with a paper-knife. I did my best
to get
out of it — swore I had a pal who was a real swell — but I saw very
plainly
that I had given myself away. He gave up haggling. He paid my price as
though
he enjoyed doing it. But I felt him following me when I made
tracks;
though, of course, I didn’t turn round to see.” “Why not?” “My dear Bunny, it’s the
very worst thing you can do. As long as you look unsuspecting they’ll
keep
their distance, and so long as they keep their distance you stand a
chance.
Once show that you know you’re being followed, and it’s flight or fight
for all
you’re worth. I never even looked round; and mind you never do in the
same
hole. I just hurried up to Blackfriars and booked for High Street,
Kensington,
at the top of my voice; and as the train was leaving Sloane Square out
I
hopped, and up all those stairs like a lamplighter, and round to the
studio by
the back streets. Well, to be on the safe side, I lay low there all the
afternoon, hearing nothing in the least suspicious, and only wishing I
had a
window to look through instead of that beastly skylight. However, the
coast
seemed clear enough, and thus far it was my mere idea that he would
follow me;
there was nothing to show he had. So at last I marched out in my proper
rig —
almost straight into old Baird’s arms!” “What on earth did you do?” “Walked past him as though I
had never set eyes on him in my life, and didn’t then; took a hansom in
the
King’s Road, and drove like the deuce to Clapham Junction; rushed on to
the
nearest platform, without a ticket, jumped into the first train I saw,
got out
at Twickenham, walked full tilt back to Richmond, took the District to
Charing Cross,
and here I am! Ready for a tub and a change, and the best dinner the
club can
give us. I came to you first, because I thought you might be getting
anxious.
Come round with me, and I won’t keep you long.” “You’re certain you’ve given
him the slip?” I said, as we put on our hats. “Certain enough; but we can
make assurance doubly sure,” said Raffles, and went to my window,
where he
stood for a minute or two looking down into the street. “All right?” I asked him. “All right,” said he; and we
went downstairs forthwith, and so to the Albany arm-in-arm. But we were both rather
silent on the way. I, for my part, was wondering what Raffles would do
about
the studio in Chelsea, whither, at all events, he had been
successfully
dogged. To me the point seemed one of immediate importance, but when I
mentioned it he said there was time enough to think about that. His one
other
remark was made after we had nodded (in Bond Street) to a young blood
of our
acquaintance who happened to be getting himself a bad name. “Poor Jack Rutter!” said
Raffles, with a sigh. “Nothing’s sadder than to see a fellow going to
the bad
like that. He’s about mad with drink and debt, poor devil! Did you see
his eye?
Odd that we should have met him to-night, by the way; it’s old Baird
who’s said
to have skinned him. By God, but I’d like to skin old Baird!” And his
tone took
a sudden low fury, made the more noticeable by another long silence,
which
lasted, indeed, throughout an admirable dinner at the club, and for
some time
after we had settled down in a quiet corner of the smoking-room with
our coffee
and cigars. Then at last I saw Raffles looking at me with his lazy
smile, and
I knew that the morose fit was at an end. “I daresay you wonder what
I’ve been thinking about all this time?” said he. “I’ve been thinking
what rot
it is to go doing things by halves!” “Well,” said I, returning
his smile, “that’s not a charge that you can bring against yourself, is
it?” “I’m not so sure,” said
Raffles, blowing a meditative puff; “as a matter of fact, I was
thinking less
of myself than of that poor devil of a Jack Rutter. There’s a fellow
who does
things by halves; he’s only half gone to the bad; and look at the
difference
between him and us! He’s under the thumb of a villainous money-lender;
we are
solvent citizens. He’s taken to drink; we’re as sober as we are
solvent. His
pals are beginning to cut him; our difficulty is to keep the pal from
the door. Enfin,
he begs or borrows,
which is
stealing by halves; and we steal outright and are done with it.
Obviously ours
is the more honest course. Yet I’m not sure, Bunny, but we’re doing the
thing
by halves ourselves!” “Why? What more could we
do?” I exclaimed in soft derision, looking round, however, to make sure
that we
were not overheard. “What more?” said Raffles. “Well,
murder — for one thing.” “Rot!” “A matter of opinion, my
dear Bunny; I don’t mean it for rot. I’ve told you before that the
biggest man
alive is the man who’s committed a murder, and not yet been found out;
at least
he ought to be, but he so very seldom has the soul to appreciate
himself. Just
think of it! Think of coming in here and talking to the men, very
likely about
the murder itself; and knowing you’ve done it; and wondering how they’d
look if they knew! Oh, it would be great, simply great! But,
besides all that,
when you were caught there’d be a merciful and dramatic end of you.
You’d fill
the bill for a few weeks, and then snuff out with a flourish of
extra-specials;
you wouldn’t rust with a vile repose for seven or fourteen years.” “Good old Raffles!” I
chuckled. “I begin to forgive you for being in bad form at dinner.” “But I was never more
earnest in my life.” “Go on!” “I mean it.” “You know very well that you
wouldn’t commit a murder, whatever else you might do.” “I know very well I’m going
to commit one to-night!” He had been leaning back in
the saddle-bag chair, watching me with keen eyes sheathed by languid
lids; now
he started forward, and his eyes leapt to mine like cold steel from the
scabbard. They struck home to my slow wits; their meaning was no longer
in
doubt. I, who knew the man, read murder in his clenched hands, and
murder in
his locked lips, but a hundred murders in those hard blue eyes. “Baird?” I faltered,
moistening my lips with my tongue. “Of course.” “But you said it didn’t
matter about the room in Chelsea?” “I told a lie.” “Anyway you gave him the
slip afterwards!” “That was another. I didn’t. I
thought I had when I came up
to you this evening; but when I looked out of your window — you
remember? to
make assurance doubly sure — there he was on the opposite pavement
down below.” “And you never said a word
about it!” “I wasn’t going to spoil
your dinner, Bunny, and I wasn’t going to let you spoil mine. But there
he was
as large as life, and, of course, he followed us to the Albany. A fine
game for
him to play, a game after his mean old heart: blackmail from me, bribes
from
the police, the one bidding against the other; but he sha’n’t play it
with me,
he sha’n’t live to, and the world will have an extortioner the less.
Waiter!
Two Scotch whiskies and sodas. I’m off at eleven, Bunny; it’s the only
thing to
be done.” “You know where he lives,
then?” “Yes, out Willesden way, and
alone; the fellow’s a miser among other things. I long ago found out
all about
him.” Again I looked round the
room; it was a young man’s club, and young men were laughing, chatting,
smoking, drinking, on every hand. One nodded to me through the smoke.
Like a
machine I nodded to him, and turned back to Raffles with a groan. “Surely you will give him a
chance!” I urged. “The very sight of your pistol should bring him to terms.” “It wouldn’t make him keep
them.” “But you might try the
effect?” “I probably shall. Here’s a
drink for you, Bunny. Wish me luck.” “I’m coming too.” “I don’t want you.” “But I must come!” An ugly gleam shot from the steel-blue
eyes. “To interfere?” said
Raffles. “Not I.” “You give me your word?” “I do.” “Bunny, if you break it —” “You may shoot me too!” “I most certainly should,”
said Raffles, solemnly. “So you come at your own peril, my dear man;
but, if
you are coming — well, the sooner the better, for I must stop at my
rooms on
the way.” Five minutes later I was
waiting for him at the Piccadilly entrance to the Albany. I had a
reason for
remaining outside. It was the feeling — half hope, half fear — that
Angus Baird
might still be on our trail — that some more immediate and less
cold-blooded
way of dealing with him might result from a sudden encounter between
the money-lender
and myself. I would not warn him of his danger; but I would avert
tragedy at
all costs. And when no such encounter had taken place, and Raffles and
I were
fairly on our way to Willesden, that, I think, was still my honest
resolve. I
would not break my word if I could help it, but it was a comfort to
feel that I
could break it if I liked, on an understood penalty. Alas! I fear my
good
intentions were tainted with a devouring curiosity, and overlaid by the
fascination which goes hand in hand with horror. I have a poignant
recollection of the hour it took us to reach the house. We walked
across St.
James’s Park (I can see the lights now, bright on the bridge and
blurred in the
water), and we had some minutes to wait for the last train to
Willesden. It
left at 11.21, I remember, and Raffles was put out to find it did not
go on to Kensal
Rise. We had to get out at Willesden Junction and walk on through the
streets
into fairly open country that happened to be quite new to me. I could
never
find the house again. I remember, however, that we were on a dark
footpath
between woods and fields when the clocks began striking twelve. “Surely,” said I, “we shall
find him in bed and asleep?” “I hope we do,” said Raffles
grimly. “Then you mean to break in?” “What else did you think?” I had not thought about it
at all; the ultimate crime had monopolised my mind. Beside it burglary
was a
bagatelle, but one to deprecate none the less. I saw obvious
objections: the
man was au fait with cracksmen and their ways: he would certainly have
firearms, and might be the first to use them. “I could wish nothing
better,” said Raffles. “Then it will be man to man, and devil take the
worst
shot. You don’t suppose I prefer foul play to fair, do you? But die he
must,
by one or the other, or it’s a long stretch for you and me.” “Better that than this!” “Then stay where you are, my
good fellow. I told you I didn’t want you; and this is the house. So
good-night.” I could see no house at all,
only the angle of a high wall rising solitary in the night, with the
starlight
glittering on battlements of broken glass; and in the wall a tall green
gate,
bristling with spikes, and showing a front for battering-rams in the
feeble
rays an outlying lamp-post cast across the new-made road. It seemed to
me a
road of building sites, with but this one house built, all by itself,
at one
end; but the night was too dark for more than a mere impression. Raffles, however, had
seen the place by daylight, and had come prepared for the special
obstacles;
already he was reaching up and putting champagne corks on the spikes,
and in
another moment he had his folded covert-coat across the corks. I
stepped back
as he raised himself, and saw a little pyramid of slates snip the sky
above the
gate; as he squirmed over I ran forward, and had my own weight on the
spikes
and corks and covert-coat when he gave the latter a tug. “Coming after all?” “Rather!” “Take care, then; the place
is all bell-wires and springs. It’s no soft thing, this! There — stand
still
while I take off the corks.” The garden was very small
and new, with a grass-plot still in separate sods, but a quantity of
full-grown
laurels stuck into the raw clay beds. “Bells in themselves,” as
Raffles whispered; “there’s nothing else rustles so — cunning old
beast!” And
we gave them a wide berth as we crept across the grass. “He’s gone to bed!” “I don’t think so, Bunny. I
believe he’s seen us.” “Why?” “I saw a light.” “Where?” “Downstairs, for an instant,
when I —” His whisper died away; he had seen the light again; and so
had I. It lay like a golden rod
under the front-door — and vanished. It reappeared like a gold thread
under
the lintel — and vanished for good. We heard the stairs creak, creak,
and
cease, also for good. We neither saw nor heard any more, though we
stood waiting
on the grass till our feet were soaked with the dew. “I’m going in,” said Raffles
at last. “I don’t believe he saw us at all. I wish he had. This way.” We trod gingerly on the
path, but the gravel stuck to our wet soles, and grated horribly in a
little
tiled verandah with a glass door leading within. It was through this
glass that
Raffles had first seen the light; and he now proceeded to take out a
pane, with
the diamond, the pot of treacle, and the sheet of brown paper which
were seldom
omitted from his impedimenta. Nor did he dispense with my own
assistance,
though he may have accepted it as instinctively as it was proffered.
In any
case it was these fingers that helped to spread the treacle on the
brown paper,
and pressed the latter to the glass until the diamond had completed its
circuit
and the pane fell gently back into our hands. Raffles now inserted his
hand, turned the key in the lock, and, by making a long arm, succeeded
in
drawing the bolt at the bottom of the door; it proved to be the only
one, and
the door opened, though not very wide. “What’s that?” said Raffles,
as something crunched beneath his feet on the very threshold. “A pair of spectacles,” I
whispered, picking them up. I was still fingering the broken lenses
and the
bent rims when Raffles tripped and almost fell, with a gasping cry that
he made
no effort to restrain. “Hush, man, hush!” I
entreated under my breath. “He’ll hear you!” For answer his teeth chattered
— even his — and I heard him fumbling with his matches. “No, Bunny; he
won’t
hear us,” whispered Raffles, presently; and he rose from his knees and
lit a
gas as the match burnt down. Angus Baird was lying on his
own floor, dead, with his grey hairs glued together by his blood; near
him a
poker with the black end glistening; in a corner his desk, ransacked,
littered.
A clock ticked noisily on the chimney-piece; for perhaps a hundred
seconds
there was no other sound. Raffles stood very still,
staring down at the dead, as a man might stare into an abyss after
striding
blindly to its brink. His breath came audibly through wide nostrils; he
made no
other sign, and his lips seemed sealed. “That light!” said I,
hoarsely; “the light we saw under the door!” With a start he turned to
me. “It’s true! I had forgotten
it. It was in here I saw it first!” “He must be upstairs still!” “If he is we’ll soon rout
him out. Come on!” Instead I laid a hand upon
his arm, imploring him to reflect — that his enemy was dead now — that
we
should certainly be involved — that now or never was our own time to
escape. He
shook me off in a sudden fury of impatience, a reckless contempt in
his eyes,
and, bidding me save my own skin if I liked, he once more turned his
back upon
me, and this time left me half resolved to take him at his word. Had he
forgotten on what errand he himself was here? Was he determined that
this night
should end in black disaster? As I asked myself these questions his
match
flared in the hall; in another moment the stairs were creaking under
his feet,
even as they had creaked under those of the murderer; and the humane
instinct
that inspired him in defiance
of his risk was borne in
also upon my slower
sensibilities. Could we let the murderer go? My answer was to bound up
the
creaking stairs and to overhaul Raffles on the landing. But three doors presented
themselves; the first opened into a bedroom with the bed turned down
but undisturbed;
the second room was empty in every sense; the third door was locked. Raffles lit the landing gas. “He’s in there,” said he,
cocking his revolver. “Do you remember how we used to break into the
studies
at school? Here goes!” His flat foot crashed over
the keyhole, the lock gave, the door flew open, and in the sudden
draught the
landing gas heeled over like a cobble in a squall; as the flame righted
itself
I saw a fixed bath, two bath-towels knotted together — an open window —
a cowering
figure — and Raffles struck aghast on the threshold. “Jack — Rutter?” The words came thick and
slow with horror, and in horror I heard myself repeating them, while
the
cowering figure by the bath-room window rose gradually erect. “It’s you!” he whispered, in
amazement no less than our own; “it’s you two! What’s it mean, Raffles?
I saw
you get over the gate; a bell rang, the place is full of them. Then you
broke
in. What’s it all mean?” “We may tell you that, when
you tell us what in God’s name you’ve done, Rutter!” “Done?
What have I done?”
The unhappy wretch came out into the light with bloodshot,
blinking eyes, and
a bloody shirt-front. “You know —
you’ve seen — but I’ll tell you if you
like.
I’ve killed a robber; that’s all. I’ve
killed a robber, a usurer, a jackal, a
blackmailer, the cleverest and the cruellest villain unhung.
I’m ready to hang
for him. I’d kill him again!” And he looked us fiercely in
the face, a fine defiance in his dissipated eyes; his breast heaving,
his jaw
like a rock. “Shall I tell you how it
happened?” he went passionately on. “He’s made my life a hell these
weeks and
months past. You may know that. A perfect hell! Well, to-night I met
him in
Bond Street. Do you remember when I met you fellows? He wasn’t twenty
yards
behind you; he was on your tracks, Raffles; he saw me nod to you, and
stopped
me and asked me who you were. He seemed as keen as knives to know, I
couldn’t
think why, and didn’t care either, for I saw my chance. I said I’d tell
him all
about you if he’d give me a private interview. He said he wouldn’t. I
said he
should, and held him by the coat; by the time I let him go you were out
of
sight, and I waited where I was till he came back in despair. I had the whip-hand
of him then. I could dictate where the interview should be, and I made
him
take me home with him, still swearing to tell him all about you when
we’d had
our talk. Well, when we got here I made him give me something to eat,
putting
him off and off; and about ten o’clock I heard the gate shut. I waited
a bit,
and then asked him if he lived alone. “‘Not at all,’ says he; ‘did
you not see the servant?’ “I said I’d seen her, but I
thought I’d heard her go; if I was mistaken no doubt she would come
when she
was called; and I yelled three times at the top of my voice. Of course
there
was no servant to come. I knew that, because I came to see him one
night last
week, and he interviewed me himself through the gate, but wouldn’t open
it.
Well, when I had done yelling, and not a soul had come near us, he was
as white
as that ceiling. Then I told him we could have our chat at last; and I
picked the
poker out of the fender, and told him how he’d robbed me, but by God he
shouldn’t rob me any more. I gave him three minutes to write and sign a
settlement of all his iniquitous claims against me, or have his brains
beaten
out over his own carpet. He thought a minute, and then went to his desk
for pen
and paper. In two seconds he was round like lightning with a revolver,
and I
went for him bald-headed. He fired two or three times and missed; you
can find
the holes if you like; but I hit him every time — my God! I was like a
savage
till the thing was done. And then I didn’t care. I went through his
desk
looking for my own bills, and was coming away when you turned up. I
said I
didn’t care, nor do I; but I was going to give myself up to-night, and
shall
still; so you see I sha’n’t give you fellows much trouble!” He was done; and there we
stood on the landing of the lonely house, the low, thick, eager voice
still
racing and ringing through our ears; the dead man below, and in front
of us his
impenitent slayer. I knew to whom the impenitence would appeal when he
had
heard the story, and I was not mistaken. “That’s all rot,” said Raffles,
speaking after a pause; “we sha’n’t let you give yourself up.” “You sha’n’t stop me! What
would be the good? The woman saw me; it would only be a question of
time; and I
can’t face waiting to be taken. Think of it: waiting for them to touch
you on
the shoulder! No, no, no; I’ll give myself up and get it over.” His speech was changed; he
faltered, floundered. It was as though a clearer perception of his
position
had come with the bare idea of escape from it. “But listen to me,” urged
Raffles; “we’re here at our peril ourselves. We broke in like thieves
to enforce
redress for a grievance very like your own. But don’t you see? We took
out a pane
— did the thing like regular burglars. Regular burglars will get the
credit of
all the rest!” “You mean that I sha’n’t be
suspected?” “I do.” “But I don’t want to get off
scot-free,” cried Rutter hysterically. “I’ve killed him. I know that.
But it
was in self-defence; it wasn’t murder. I must own up and take the
consequences.
I shall go mad if I don’t!” His hands twitched; his lips
quivered; the tears were in his eyes. Raffles took him roughly by the
shoulder. “Look here, you fool! If the
three of us were caught here now, do you know what those consequences
would be?
We should swing in a row at Newgate in six weeks’ time! You talk as
though we
were sitting in a club; don’t you know it’s one o’clock in the morning,
and the
lights on, and a dead man down below? For God’s sake pull yourself
together,
and do what I tell you, or you’re a dead man yourself.” “I wish I was
one!” Rutter
sobbed. “I wish I had his revolver to blow my own brains out. It’s
lying under
him. O my God, my God!” His knees knocked together:
the frenzy of reaction was at its height. We had to take him downstairs
between
us, and so through the front door out into the open air. All was still outside — all but
the smothered weeping of the unstrung wretch upon our hands. Raffles
returned
for a moment to the house; then all was dark as well. The gate opened
from
within; we closed it carefully behind us; and so left the starlight
shining on
broken glass and polished spikes, one and all as we had found them. We escaped; no need to dwell
on our escape. Our murderer seemed set upon the scaffold — drunk with
his
deed, he was more trouble than six men drunk with wine. Again and again
we
threatened to leave him to his fate, to wash our hands of him. But
incredible
and unmerited luck was with the three of us. Not a soul did we meet
between
that and Willesden; and of those who saw us later, did one think of the
two
young men with crooked white ties, supporting a third in a seemingly
unmistakable condition, when the evening papers apprised the town of a
terrible tragedy at Kensal Rise? We walked to Maida Vale, and
thence drove openly to my rooms. But I alone went upstairs; the other
two
proceeded to the Albany, and I saw no more of Raffles for forty-eight
hours. He
was not at his rooms when I called in the morning; he had left no word.
When he
reappeared the papers were full of the murder; and the man who had
committed it
was on the wide Atlantic, a steerage passenger from Liverpool to New
York. “There was no arguing with
him,” so Raffles told me; “either he must make a clean breast of it or
flee the
country. So I rigged him up at the studio, and we took the first train
to
Liverpool. Nothing would induce him to sit tight and enjoy the
situation as I
should have endeavoured to do in his place; and it’s just as well! I
went to
his diggings to destroy some papers, and what do you think I found? The
police
in possession; there’s a warrant out against him already! The idiots
think that
window wasn’t genuine, and the warrant’s out. It won’t be my fault if
it’s ever
served!” Nor, after all these years, can I think it will be mine. |