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SIR ONE
LONG BODY AND MADAME THOUSAND FEET IN the
land of Morning Radiance, where the family names have only one
syllable, such
as Kim, Yi, Pil, Wun, Hap, etc., they wear shoes, but these are not
made of
black leather. The people neither stand up on wooden clogs as in Japan,
nor
case their feet in straight soled gaiters, without heels, as in China.
The
gentlemen put on white socks with tough hide soles, and the ladies don
dainty
slippers with the pointed toes turned up. Common folks' sandals are
made
chiefly of straw and twine and it takes a good deal of cordage to
complete a
pair. Now there
once lived under an old stone below a persimmon tree a fair young
creature
named Miss Thousand Feet. She wore lead-colored clothes and had so many
toes to
take care of that any one who tried to count them soon got tired; so he
stopped
and called the whole amount a thousand, which was a number as round as
herself.
She was as proud of each one of her many little feet as a Chinese lady,
who has
only two of them, admires her own, when they fit a velvet shoe no
bigger than a
pepper pod. Miss Thousand Feet was very modest, however, and if any one
stepped
on her toes, or touched her, she curled up, first into a ring and then
into a
ball, so that men, by a pun on her family name, called her "a pill
millipede," for she belonged to the Pil family, one of the most famous
in
all Korea. Miss
Thousand Feet was very happy living under a damp stone in the cool
earth and
she played a good deal. But by and by, when she grew up, her parents
told her
it was time for her to get married. So they looked around, to see if
any
gentleman in the whole creation was worthy of her, not only to make a
suitable
husband, but also a good match that her friends would be proud of. Now, in
another village lived a rich, fat, young and promising male creature,
named Mr.
Long Body, of the Wum family. His business was to eat his way through
the
ground, and pile up little curled heaps of mud on the surface, and at
this work
he was kept very busy. He had to look out for the birds, for they liked
to eat
him up, he was so soft and sweet. Constant exercise in moving through
the
ground kept his body shining, so that altogether, as earthworms go, he
was
quite handsome and considered a good catch for Miss Thousand Feet.
Furthermore,
as he had no feet and she had so many, while his body was long and hers
quite
short, it was supposed that one would make up where the other lacked
and that
both would be happy together as husband and wife. Mr. Long
Body, when he heard of the charms of Miss Thousand Feet, was of the
same
opinion. All his friends were pairing off, the males bringing home
their brides
to their fathers' houses and setting up housekeeping. As he had come of
age, he
also determined to marry. So he sent
letters and opened the business, according to Korean etiquette, through
a
"go-between," as the lady who arranges marriages is called. This
person goes to see each of the two families, praising to one the beauty
and
graces of the promised bride and to the other the strength and wealth
of the
future husband. Indeed, she gives both of them a very good character.
Finally
the "six proprieties," or "half dozen rules," had been
completed and the engagement of Mr. Wum and Miss Pil was announced. What a
clatter of gossip was at once heard in both villages! No one ever thought that
such a handsome fellow as Mr. Long
Body Wum would ever marry into the Pil family. Some jealous folks
hinted that
Mr. Long Body, if he took a wife with a thousand feet, would never be
able to
pay his shoemaker. On the other hand, so long as his bride would be
content
with plain twine shoes, all might go well; but, for extra occasions, or
if his
wife were extravagant, and wanted lady's turned up house foot-gear,
made of red
morocco, such as only the Yang-ban, or rich folks, wear,
— well, there would be
trouble in the household. How could he keep her in
shoes? Other persons, however, who knew that the Pils were famous
people,
wondered how Mr. Wum ever managed to get such a prize as Miss Pil. In the
other village, the tongues of the gossips ran on in much the same way.
What did
she see to admire in that fellow without legs? Then, when the honeymoon
would
be over and it came to making gentleman's clothes for her husband, had
she any
skill with the needle? Could she make a long coat and one trouser leg
big
enough to fit him? And think of the many days of work necessary to cut
and sew
the garment, to say nothing of weary hours to be spent in washing,
starching
and giving a gloss to such clothes. The idea! Why, she
would have to be nothing but a slave. As her
husband's semptress, tailor, and laundress she would get no rest. Think
of
washing, starching, and beating to a fine gloss the one-legged
trousers, which
Mr. Wum would often have to change; for he lived in the dirt! Now, Mr.
Long Body Wum was so busy with his work of excavating the ground that
he had no
time to hear, or pay attention to the village chatterboxes. Miss Pil,
however,
couldn't help hearing what the women and others said about her, and
especially
the talk concerning the terribly hard duties that awaited her if she
took a
husband. While Mr. Wum kept digging at the tunnel three yards long,
which he
was excavating underground, so as to save up and be ready for his
wedding, Miss
Pil brooded over what the gossips talked about and over those awfully
long
coats and one-legged trousers she would be obliged to sit up at nights
to make,
wash, starch and gloss. Already she imagined her arms tired in
anticipation of
starching and beating on the Korean lustre, without which no gentleman
in the
Land of Morning Calm ever goes outdoors. If his coat didn't have that
fashionable shine which long beating gives, the women would notice it
immediately and pretty soon the men also. Miss Pil's
brooding night and day over the matter did not help affairs, and
finally wore
upon her nerves. She refused to prepare her own trousseau, and,
finally,
despite all her friends told her in praise of Mr. Long Body Wum, she
decided to
write a letter to him, telling him that on account of his long trunk
without
limbs, and the great labor necessary to make him proper clothing and of
starching and glossing it, to say nothing of keeping it in order, she
felt
unable to hold to the marriage engagement and must break it off. But before
she had dropped the water on the ink stone and begun to rub up the ink,
or
taken brush-pen and paper in hand, Mr. Long Body had got wind of her
complaining and it worried him. Why should he marry one who didn't want
him? Then, as
he thought it over, being a very thrifty and economical bachelor, he
began to
doubt whether he could buy shoes enough to fit all the feet of his
betrothed.
He had not looked on her face or figure yet. Indeed it was hardly
Korean
etiquette that he should —
openly at least. So far, he had not seen her
tiny feet to count them up, but he suspected that, since she belonged
to the
Pil family, she must have a thousand feet according to her reputation.
When he
came to calculate what it would cost him, even in cheap twine sandals,
he was
startled. When he figured out what ladies' turned up kids would come to
he was
so alarmed that he nearly fainted. At the sight of two thousand pairs
of shoes,
however tiny, his breath almost failed him and he saw himself ruined.
What
should he do? And when
she took off her foot-gear at night, where should he stow it away?
Then, what a
noise she would make, if she put on rough-soled shoes, while at her
work around
the house and yard. It was horrible for a quiet bachelor even to think
of the
clatter she would make. Already he felt deafness coming on. Should he
break off
the engagement? Yet how could any one of the Wum family honorably do
such a
thing? What would the neighbors say? Could he, if prone to breaking his
word,
get another bride of a family so respectable as that of the Pil? However he
would sleep over it, as there were some days before the wedding. But
next
morning the matter cleared up, and he was able to crawl into his hole
and out
of sight with comfort. He sent a letter to Miss Pil, setting forth the
facts,
and asking for a release from the engagement to marry. The substance of
what he
wrote was this: that owing to his small fortune he would be unable to
buy her
all the shoes, and of the kind which a lady of her quality and tastes
required.
He therefore could not think of asking her to share his poverty, but
begged her
to secure another husband who could buy several sets of a thousand
slippers,
gaiters, high cut and low cut shoes and boots such as a lady needed for
both
fine and bad weather, etc., etc. Now it
happened that the letters crossed on the road. Both messengers were
boys, who
acted as postmen. As they passed, each one, knowing that the other was
from the
opposite village, suspected what the other was carrying, for both knew
how the
gossips had talked. So there
was no wedding, nor any frolic among the young folks, or feasting of
relatives,
and to this day Miss Pil remains single and Mr. Wum has no wife. They
were very
severe on the girl. All the gossips say that it served the
thousand-footed
hussy right. Folks had better look on the good points in a person's
character
and not dwell upon his faults and defects. On the other hand, in Mr.
Wum's
village, all declare with one voice that bachelors should count up all the expense in getting married. Miss
Pil still goes shoeless hiding from her light under a stone, and Mr.
Wum keeps
out of sight underground, for he has nothing to wear. |