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CHAPTER XXXII
I awoke,
oppressed by a mysterious sensation. There seemed something missing in my
environment. But the mystery and oppressiveness vanished after the first
few seconds of waking, when I identified the missing something as the
wind. I had fallen asleep in that state of nerve tension with which one
meets the continuous shock of sound or movement, and I had awakened, still tense,
bracing myself to meet the pressure of something which no longer bore upon me. It was the
first night I had spent under cover in several months, and I lay luxuriously
for some minutes under my blankets (for once not wet with fog or spray),
analysing, first, the effect produced upon me by the cessation of the wind, and
next, the joy which was mine from resting on the mattress made by Maud’s
hands. When I had dressed and opened the door, I heard the waves still
lapping on the beach, garrulously attesting the fury of the night. It was
a clear day, and the sun was shining. I had slept late, and I stepped
outside with sudden energy, bent upon making up lost time as befitted a dweller
on Endeavour Island. And when
outside, I stopped short. I believed my eyes without question, and yet I
was for the moment stunned by what they disclosed to me. There, on the
beach, not fifty feet away, bow on, dismasted, was a black-hulled vessel.
Masts and booms, tangled with shrouds, sheets, and rent canvas, were rubbing gently
alongside. I could have rubbed my eyes as I looked. There was the
home-made galley we had built, the familiar break of the poop, the low
yacht-cabin scarcely rising above the rail. It was the Ghost. What freak
of fortune had brought it here — here of all spots? what chance of
chances? I looked at the bleak, inaccessible wall at my back and know the
profundity of despair. Escape was hopeless, out of the question. I
thought of Maud, asleep there in the hut we had reared; I remembered her
“Good-night, Humphrey”; “my woman, my mate,” went ringing through my brain, but
now, alas, it was a knell that sounded. Then everything went black before
my eyes. Possibly it
was the fraction of a second, but I had no knowledge of how long an interval
had lapsed before I was myself again. There lay the Ghost, bow on to the beach, her splintered
bowsprit projecting over the sand, her tangled spars rubbing against her side
to the lift of the crooning waves. Something must be done, must be done. It came upon
me suddenly, as strange, that nothing moved aboard. Wearied from the
night of struggle and wreck, all hands were yet asleep, I thought. My
next thought was that Maud and I might yet escape. If we could take to
the boat and make round the point before any one awoke? I would call her
and start. My hand was lifted at her door to knock, when I recollected
the smallness of the island. We could never hide ourselves upon it.
There was nothing for us but the wide raw ocean. I thought of our snug
little huts, our supplies of meat and oil and moss and firewood, and I knew
that we could never survive the wintry sea and the great storms which were to
come. So I stood,
with hesitant knuckle, without her door. It was impossible,
impossible. A wild thought of rushing in and killing her as she slept
rose in my mind. And then, in a flash, the better solution came to
me. All hands were asleep. Why not creep aboard the Ghost, — well I knew the way to Wolf
Larsen’s bunk, — and kill him in his sleep? After that — well, we would
see. But with him dead there was time and space in which to prepare to do
other things; and besides, whatever new situation arose, it could not possibly
be worse than the present one. My knife was
at my hip. I returned to my hut for the shot-gun, made sure it was
loaded, and went down to the Ghost.
With some difficulty, and at the expense of a wetting to the waist, I climbed
aboard. The forecastle scuttle was open. I paused to listen for the
breathing of the men, but there was no breathing. I almost gasped as the
thought came to me: What if the Ghost
is deserted? I listened more closely. There was no sound. I
cautiously descended the ladder. The place had the empty and musty feel
and smell usual to a dwelling no longer inhabited. Everywhere was a thick
litter of discarded and ragged garments, old sea-boots, leaky oilskins — all
the worthless forecastle dunnage of a long voyage. Abandoned
hastily, was my conclusion, as I ascended to the deck. Hope was alive
again in my breast, and I looked about me with greater coolness. I noted
that the boats were missing. The steerage told the same tale as the
forecastle. The hunters had packed their belongings with similar
haste. The Ghost was
deserted. It was Maud’s and mine. I thought of the ship’s stores
and the lazarette beneath the cabin, and the idea came to me of surprising Maud
with something nice for breakfast. The reaction
from my fear, and the knowledge that the terrible deed I had come to do was no
longer necessary, made me boyish and eager. I went up the steerage
companion-way two steps at a time, with nothing distinct in my mind except joy
and the hope that Maud would sleep on until the surprise breakfast was quite
ready for her. As I rounded the galley, a new satisfaction was mine at thought
of all the splendid cooking utensils inside. I sprang up the break of the
poop, and saw — Wolf Larsen. What of my impetus and the stunning
surprise, I clattered three or four steps along the deck before I could stop
myself. He was standing in the companion-way, only his head and shoulders
visible, staring straight at me. His arms were resting on the half-open
slide. He made no movement whatever — simply stood there, staring at me. I began to
tremble. The old stomach sickness clutched me. I put one hand on
the edge of the house to steady myself. My lips seemed suddenly dry and I
moistened them against the need of speech. Nor did I for an instant take
my eyes off him. Neither of us spoke. There was something ominous
in his silence, his immobility. All my old fear of him returned and by
new fear was increased an hundred-fold. And still we stood, the pair of
us, staring at each other. I was aware
of the demand for action, and, my old helplessness strong upon me, I was
waiting for him to take the initiative. Then, as the moments went by, it
came to me that the situation was analogous to the one in which I had
approached the long-maned bull, my intention of clubbing obscured by fear until
it became a desire to make him run. So it was at last impressed upon me
that I was there, not to have Wolf Larsen take the initiative, but to take it
myself. I cocked
both barrels and levelled the shot-gun at him. Had he moved, attempted to
drop down the companion-way, I know I would have shot him. But he stood
motionless and staring as before. And as I faced him, with levelled gun
shaking in my hands, I had time to note the worn and haggard appearance of his
face. It was as if some strong anxiety had wasted it. The cheeks
were sunken, and there was a wearied, puckered expression on the brow.
And it seemed to me that his eyes were strange, not only the expression, but
the physical seeming, as though the optic nerves and supporting muscles had
suffered strain and slightly twisted the eyeballs. All this I
saw, and my brain now working rapidly, I thought a thousand thoughts; and yet I
could not pull the triggers. I lowered the gun and stepped to the corner
of the cabin, primarily to relieve the tension on my nerves and to make a new
start, and incidentally to be closer. Again I raised the gun. He
was almost at arm’s length. There was no hope for him. I was
resolved. There was no possible chance of missing him, no matter how poor
my marksmanship. And yet I wrestled with myself and could not pull the
triggers. “Well?” he
demanded impatiently. I strove
vainly to force my fingers down on the triggers, and vainly I strove to say
something. “Why don’t
you shoot?” he asked. I cleared my
throat of a huskiness which prevented speech. “Hump,” he said slowly,
“you can’t do it. You are not exactly afraid. You are
impotent. Your conventional morality is stronger than you. You are
the slave to the opinions which have credence among the people you have known
and have read about. Their code has been drummed into your head from the
time you lisped, and in spite of your philosophy, and of what I have taught
you, it won’t let you kill an unarmed, unresisting man.” “I know it,”
I said hoarsely. “And you
know that I would kill an unarmed man as readily as I would smoke a cigar,” he
went on. “You know me for what I am, — my worth in the world by your
standard. You have called me snake, tiger, shark, monster, and
Caliban. And yet, you little rag puppet, you little echoing mechanism,
you are unable to kill me as you would a snake or a shark, because I have
hands, feet, and a body shaped somewhat like yours. Bah! I had hoped
better things of you, Hump.” He stepped
out of the companion-way and came up to me. “Put down
that gun. I want to ask you some questions. I haven’t had a chance
to look around yet. What place is this? How is the Ghost lying? How did you get
wet? Where’s Maud? — I beg your pardon, Miss Brewster — or should I say,
‘Mrs. Van Weyden’?” I had backed
away from him, almost weeping at my inability to shoot him, but not fool enough
to put down the gun. I hoped, desperately, that he might commit some
hostile act, attempt to strike me or choke me; for in such way only I knew I
could be stirred to shoot. “This is
Endeavour Island,” I said. “Never heard
of it,” he broke in. “At least,
that’s our name for it,” I amended. “Our?” he
queried. “Who’s our?” “Miss
Brewster and myself. And the Ghost
is lying, as you can see for yourself, bow on to the beach.” “There are
seals here,” he said. “They woke me up with their barking, or I’d be
sleeping yet. I heard them when I drove in last night. They were
the first warning that I was on a lee shore. It’s a rookery, the kind of
a thing I’ve hunted for years. Thanks to my brother Death, I’ve lighted on
a fortune. It’s a mint. What’s its bearings?” “Haven’t the
least idea,” I said. “But you ought to know quite closely. What
were your last observations?” He smiled
inscrutably, but did not answer. “Well,
where’s all hands?” I asked. “How does it come that you are alone?” I was
prepared for him again to set aside my question, and was surprised at the
readiness of his reply. “My brother
got me inside forty-eight hours, and through no fault of mine. Boarded me
in the night with only the watch on deck. Hunters went back on me.
He gave them a bigger lay. Heard him offering it. Did it right
before me. Of course the crew gave me the go-by. That was to be
expected. All hands went over the side, and there I was, marooned on my
own vessel. It was Death’s turn, and it’s all in the family anyway.” “But how did
you lose the masts?” I asked. “Walk over
and examine those lanyards,” he said, pointing to where the mizzen-rigging
should have been. “They have
been cut with a knife!” I exclaimed. “Not quite,”
he laughed. “It was a neater job. Look again.” I
looked. The lanyards had been almost severed, with just enough left to
hold the shrouds till some severe strain should be put upon them “Cooky did
that,” he laughed again. “I know, though I didn’t spot him at it.
Kind of evened up the score a bit.” “Good for
Mugridge!” I cried. “Yes, that’s
what I thought when everything went over the side. Only I said it on the
other side of my mouth.” “But what
were you doing while all this was going on?” I asked. “My best,
you may be sure, which wasn’t much under the circumstances.” I turned to
re-examine Thomas Mugridge’s work. “I guess
I’ll sit down and take the sunshine,” I heard Wolf Larsen saying. There was a
hint, just a slight hint, of physical feebleness in his voice, and it was so strange
that I looked quickly at him. His hand was sweeping nervously across his
face, as though he were brushing away cobwebs. I was puzzled. The
whole thing was so unlike the Wolf Larsen I had known. “How are
your headaches?” I asked. “They still
trouble me,” was his answer. “I think I have one coming on now.” He slipped
down from his sitting posture till he lay on the deck. Then he rolled
over on his side, his head resting on the biceps of the under arm, the forearm
shielding his eyes from the sun. I stood regarding him wonderingly. “Now’s your
chance, Hump,” he said. “I don’t
understand,” I lied, for I thoroughly understood. “Oh,
nothing,” he added softly, as if he were drowsing; “only you’ve got me where
you want me.” “No, I
haven’t,” I retorted; “for I want you a few thousand miles away from here.” He chuckled,
and thereafter spoke no more. He did not stir as I passed by him and went
down into the cabin. I lifted the trap in the floor, but for some moments
gazed dubiously into the darkness of the lazarette beneath. I hesitated
to descend. What if his lying down were a ruse? Pretty, indeed, to
be caught there like a rat. I crept softly up the companion-way and
peeped at him. He was lying as I had left him. Again I went below;
but before I dropped into the lazarette I took the precaution of casting down
the door in advance. At least there would be no lid to the trap.
But it was all needless. I regained the cabin with a store of jams,
sea-biscuits, canned meats, and such things, — all I could carry, — and
replaced the trap-door. A peep at
Wolf Larsen showed me that he had not moved. A bright thought struck
me. I stole into his state-room and possessed myself of his
revolvers. There were no other weapons, though I thoroughly ransacked the
three remaining state-rooms. To make sure, I returned and went through
the steerage and forecastle, and in the galley gathered up all the sharp meat
and vegetable knives. Then I bethought me of the great yachtsman’s knife
he always carried, and I came to him and spoke to him, first softly, then
loudly. He did not move. I bent over and took it from his
pocket. I breathed more freely. He had no arms with which to attack
me from a distance; while I, armed, could always forestall him should he
attempt to grapple me with his terrible gorilla arms. Filling a
coffee-pot and frying-pan with part of my plunder, and taking some chinaware
from the cabin pantry, I left Wolf Larsen lying in the sun and went ashore. Maud was
still asleep. I blew up the embers (we had not yet arranged a winter
kitchen), and quite feverishly cooked the breakfast. Toward the end, I
heard her moving about within the hut, making her toilet. Just as all was
ready and the coffee poured, the door opened and she came forth. “It’s not
fair of you,” was her greeting. “You are usurping one of my
prerogatives. You know you I agreed that the cooking should be mine, and
— ” “But just
this once,” I pleaded. “If you
promise not to do it again,” she smiled. “Unless, of course, you have
grown tired of my poor efforts.” To my
delight she never once looked toward the beach, and I maintained the banter
with such success all unconsciously she sipped coffee from the china cup, ate
fried evaporated potatoes, and spread marmalade on her biscuit. But it
could not last. I saw the surprise that came over her. She had
discovered the china plate from which she was eating. She looked over the
breakfast, noting detail after detail. Then she looked at me, and her
face turned slowly toward the beach. “Humphrey!” she
said. The old
unnamable terror mounted into her eyes. “Is — he?”
she quavered. I nodded my
head. |