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The Yellow Wallpaper Charlotte Perkins Gilman 1892 It is very seldom that
mere
ordinary people like John and myself secure ancestral halls for the
summer. A colonial mansion, a
hereditary estate, I would say a haunted house, and reach the height of
romantic felicity — but
that would be asking too much of fate! Still I will proudly
declare that there is something queer about it. Else, why should it be
let
so cheaply? And why have stood so long untenanted? John laughs at me, of
course, but one expects that in marriage. John is practical in the
extreme. He has no patience with faith, an intense horror of
superstition, and
he scoffs openly at any talk of things not to be felt and seen and put
down in
figures. John is a physician, and perhaps — (I would not say it to a
living soul, of course, but this is dead paper and a great relief to my
mind) — perhaps that is
one reason I do not get well faster. You see he does not
believe
I am sick! And what can one do? If a physician of high
standing, and one’s own husband, assures friends and relatives that
there is
really nothing the matter with one but temporary nervous depression — a
slight hysterical tendency — what is one to do? My brother is also a
physician, and also of high standing, and he says the same thing. So I take phosphates or
phosphites — whichever
it is, and tonics, and journeys, and
air, and exercise, and am absolutely forbidden to “work” until I am
well again. Personally, I disagree
with
their ideas. Personally, I believe
that
congenial work, with excitement and change, would do me good. But what is one to do? I did write for a while
in
spite of them; but it does exhaust me
a good deal — having
to be so sly about it, or else meet
with heavy opposition. I sometimes fancy that my
condition if I had less opposition and more society and stimulus — but
John says the very worst thing I can do is to think about my condition,
and I
confess it always makes me feel bad. So I will let it alone
and
talk about the house. The most beautiful place!
It is quite alone, standing well back from the road, quite three miles
from the
village. It makes me think of English places that you read about, for
there are
hedges and walls and gates that lock, and lots of separate little
houses for
the gardeners and people. There is a delicious
garden! I never saw such a
garden — large
and shady, full of box-bordered paths,
and lined with long grape-covered arbors with seats under them. There were greenhouses,
too, but they are all broken now. There was some legal
trouble, I believe, something about the heirs and coheirs; anyhow, the
place
has been empty for years. That spoils my
ghostliness,
I am afraid, but I don’t care — there is something strange about the house — I can
feel it. I even said so to John
one
moonlight evening, but he said what I felt was a draught,
and shut the window. I get unreasonably angry
with John sometimes. I’m sure I never used to be so sensitive. I think
it is
due to this nervous condition. But John says if I feel
so,
I shall neglect proper self-control; so I take pains to control myself — before him, at
least, and that makes me very
tired. I don’t like our room a
bit. I wanted one downstairs that opened on the piazza and had roses
all over
the window, and such pretty old-fashioned chintz hangings! but John
would not
hear of it. He said there was only
one
window and not room for two beds, and no near room for him if he took
another. He is very careful and
loving, and hardly lets me stir without special direction. I have a schedule
prescription for each hour in the day; he takes all care from me, and
so I feel
basely ungrateful not to value it more. He said we came here
solely
on my account, that I was to have perfect rest and all the air I could
get.
“Your exercise depends on your strength, my dear,” said he, “and your
food
somewhat on your appetite; but air you can absorb all the time.” So we
took the
nursery at the top of the house. It is a big, airy room,
the
whole floor nearly, with windows that look all ways, and air and
sunshine
galore. It was nursery first and then playroom and gymnasium, I should
judge;
for the windows are barred for little children, and there are rings and
things
in the walls. The paint and paper look
as
if a boys’ school had used it. It is stripped off —
the
paper — in
great patches all around the head of my
bed, about as far as I can reach, and in a great place on the other
side of the
room low down. I never saw a worse paper in my life. One of those sprawling
flamboyant patterns committing every artistic sin. It is dull enough to
confuse the eye in following, pronounced enough to constantly irritate
and
provoke study, and when you follow the lame uncertain curves for a
little
distance they suddenly commit suicide — plunge off at outrageous angles, destroy
themselves in unheard of contradictions. The color is repellent,
almost revolting; a smouldering unclean yellow, strangely faded by the
slow-turning sunlight. It is a dull yet lurid
orange in some places, a sickly sulphur tint in others. No wonder the children
hated it! I should hate it myself if I had to live in this room long. There comes John, and I
must put this away — he
hates to have me write a word. We have been here two
weeks, and I haven’t felt like writing before, since that first day. I am sitting by the
window
now, up in this atrocious nursery, and there is nothing to hinder my
writing as
much as I please, save lack of strength. John is away all day, and
even some nights when his cases are serious. I am glad my case is not
serious! But these nervous
troubles
are dreadfully depressing. John does not know how
much
I really suffer. He knows there is no reason
to suffer, and that satisfies him. Of course it is only
nervousness. It does weigh on me so not to do my duty in any way! I meant to be such a help
to John, such a real rest and comfort, and here I am a comparative
burden
already! Nobody would believe what
an effort it is to do what little I am able —
to
dress and entertain, and other things. It is fortunate Mary is
so
good with the baby. Such a dear baby! And yet I cannot
be with him, it makes me so
nervous. I suppose John never was
nervous in his life. He laughs at me so about this wall-paper! At first he meant to
repaper the room, but afterwards he said that I was letting it get the
better
of me, and that nothing was worse for a nervous patient than to give
way to
such fancies. He said that after the
wall-paper was changed it would be the heavy bedstead, and then the
barred
windows, and then that gate at the head of the stairs, and so on. “You know the place is
doing you good,” he said, “and really, dear, I don’t care to renovate
the house
just for a three months’ rental.” “Then do let us go
downstairs,” I said, “there are such pretty rooms there.” Then he took me in his
arms
and called me a blessed little goose, and said he would go down to the
cellar,
if I wished, and have it whitewashed into the bargain. But he is right enough
about the beds and windows and things. It is an airy and
comfortable room as any one need wish, and, of course, I would not be
so silly
as to make him uncomfortable just for a whim. I’m really getting quite
fond of the big room, all but that horrid paper. Out of one window I can
see
the garden, those mysterious deep-shaded arbors, the riotous
old-fashioned
flowers, and bushes and gnarly trees. Out of another I get a
lovely view of the bay and a little private wharf belonging to the
estate.
There is a beautiful shaded lane that runs down there from the house. I
always
fancy I see people walking in these numerous paths and arbors, but John
has
cautioned me not to give way to fancy in the least. He says that with
my
imaginative power and habit of story-making, a nervous weakness like
mine is
sure to lead to all manner of excited fancies, and that I ought to use
my will
and good sense to check the tendency. So I try. I think sometimes that if
I
were only well enough to write a little it would relieve the press of
ideas and
rest me. But I find I get pretty
tired when I try. It is so discouraging not
to have any advice and companionship about my work. When I get really
well,
John says we will ask Cousin Henry and Julia down for a long visit; but
he says
he would as soon put fireworks in my pillow-case as to let me have
those
stimulating people about now. I wish I could get well
faster. But I must not think
about
that. This paper looks to me as if it knew
what a vicious influence it had! There is a recurrent spot
where the pattern lolls like a broken neck and two bulbous eyes stare
at you
upside down. I get positively angry
with
the impertinence of it and the everlastingness. Up and down and
sideways they
crawl, and those absurd, unblinking eyes are everywhere. There is one
place
where two breadths didn’t match, and the eyes go all up and down the
line, one
a little higher than the other. I never saw so much
expression in an inanimate thing before, and we all know how much
expression
they have! I used to lie awake as a child and get more entertainment
and terror
out of blank walls and plain furniture than most children could find in
a toy
store. I remember what a kindly
wink the knobs of our big, old bureau used to have, and there was one
chair
that always seemed like a strong friend. I used to feel that if
any
of the other things looked too fierce I could always hop into that
chair and be
safe. The furniture in this
room
is no worse than inharmonious, however, for we had to bring it all from
downstairs. I suppose when this was used as a playroom they had to take
the
nursery things out, and no wonder! I never saw such ravages as the
children
have made here. The wall-paper, as I said
before, is torn off in spots, and it sticketh closer than a brother — they
must have had perseverance as well as hatred. Then the floor is
scratched
and gouged and splintered, the plaster itself is dug out here and
there, and
this great heavy bed which is all we found in the room, looks as if it
had been
through the wars. But I don’t mind it a bit
— only
the paper. There comes John’s
sister.
Such a dear girl as she is, and so careful of me! I must not let her
find me
writing. She is a perfect and
enthusiastic housekeeper, and hopes for no better profession. I verily
believe
she thinks it is the writing which made me sick! But I can write when she
is
out, and see her a long way off from these windows. There is one that
commands
the road, a lovely shaded winding road, and one that just looks off
over the
country. A lovely country, too, full of great elms and velvet meadows. This wall-paper has a
kind
of sub-pattern in a different shade, a particularly irritating one, for
you can
only see it in certain lights, and not clearly then. But in the places where
it
isn’t faded and where the sun is just so —
I can
see a strange, provoking, formless sort of figure, that seems to skulk
about
behind that silly and conspicuous front design. There’s sister on the
stairs! Well, the Fourth of July
is
over! The people are gone and I am tired out. John thought it might do
me good
to see a little company, so we just had mother and Nellie and the
children down
for a week. Of course I didn’t do a
thing. Jennie sees to everything now. But it tired me all the
same. John says if I don’t pick
up faster he shall send me to Weir Mitchell in the fall. But I don’t want to go
there at all. I had a friend who was in his hands once, and she says he
is just
like John and my brother, only more so! Besides, it is such an
undertaking to go so far. I don’t feel as if it was
worth while to turn my hand over for anything, and I’m getting
dreadfully
fretful and querulous. I cry at nothing, and cry
most of the time. Of course I don’t when
John
is here, or anybody else, but when I am alone. And I am alone a good
deal
just now. John is kept in town very often by serious cases, and Jennie
is good
and lets me alone when I want her to. So I walk a little in the
garden or down that lovely lane, sit on the porch under the roses, and
lie down
up here a good deal. I’m getting really fond
of
the room in spite of the wall-paper. Perhaps because
of the wall-paper. It dwells in my mind so! I lie here on this great
immovable bed — it
is nailed down, I believe — and
follow that pattern about by the hour. It is as good as gymnastics, I
assure
you. I start, we’ll say, at the bottom, down in the corner over there
where it
has not been touched, and I determine for the thousandth time that I
WILL
follow that pointless pattern to some sort of a conclusion. I know a little of the
principle of design, and I know this thing was not arranged on any laws
of
radiation, or alternation, or repetition, or symmetry, or anything else
that I
ever heard of. It is repeated, of
course,
by the breadths, but not otherwise. Looked at in one way each
breadth stands alone, the bloated curves and flourishes —
a
kind of “debased Romanesque” with delirium tremens —
go
waddling up and down in isolated columns of fatuity. But, on the other hand,
they connect diagonally, and the sprawling outlines run off in great
slanting
waves of optic horror, like a lot of wallowing seaweeds in full chase. The whole thing goes
horizontally, too, at least it seems so, and I exhaust myself in trying
to
distinguish the order of its going in that direction. They have used a
horizontal
breadth for a frieze, and that adds wonderfully to the confusion. There is one end of the
room where it is almost intact, and there, when the cross-lights fade
and the
low sun shines directly upon it, I can almost fancy radiation after all
— the
interminable grotesques seem to form around a common centre and rush
off in
headlong plunges of equal distraction. It makes me tired to
follow
it. I will take a nap I guess. I don’t know why I should
write this. I don’t want to. I don’t feel able. And I know John would
think
it absurd. But I must say what I feel
and think in some way — it
is such a relief! But the effort is getting
to be greater than the relief. Half the time now I am
awfully lazy, and lie down ever so much. John says I musn’t lose
my
strength, and has me take cod liver oil and lots of tonics and things,
to say
nothing of ale and wine and rare meat. Dear John! He loves me
very
dearly, and hates to have me sick. I tried to have a real earnest
reasonable
talk with him the other day, and tell him how I wish he would let me go
and
make a visit to Cousin Henry and Julia. But he said I wasn’t able
to go, nor able to stand it after I got there; and I did not make out a
very
good case for myself, for I was crying before I had finished. It is getting to be a
great
effort for me to think straight. Just this nervous weakness I suppose. And dear John gathered me
up in his arms, and just carried me upstairs and laid me on the bed,
and sat by
me and read to me till it tired my head. He said I was his darling
and his comfort and all he had, and that I must take care of myself for
his
sake, and keep well. He says no one but myself
can help me out of it, that I must use my will and self-control and not
let any
silly fancies run away with me. There’s one comfort, the
baby is well and happy, and does not have to occupy this nursery with
the
horrid wall-paper. If we had not used it,
that
blessed child would have! What a fortunate escape! Why, I wouldn’t have
a child
of mine, an impressionable little thing, live in such a room for worlds. I never thought of it
before, but it is lucky that John kept me here after all, I can stand
it so
much easier than a baby, you see. Of course I never mention
it to them any more — I
am too wise — but
I
keep watch of it all the same. There are things in that
paper that nobody knows but me, or ever will. Behind that outside
pattern
the dim shapes get clearer every day. It is always the same
shape, only very numerous. And it is like a woman
stooping down and creeping about behind that pattern. I don’t like it a
bit. I
wonder — I
begin to think — I
wish John would take me away from here! It is so hard to talk
with
John about my case, because he is so wise, and because he loves me so. But I tried it last night. It was moonlight. The
moon
shines in all around just as the sun does. I hate to see it
sometimes,
it creeps so slowly, and always comes in by one window or another. John was asleep and I
hated
to waken him, so I kept still and watched the moonlight on that
undulating
wall-paper till I felt creepy. The faint figure behind
seemed to shake the pattern, just as if she wanted to get out. I got up softly and went
to
feel and see if the paper did move,
and when I came back John was awake. “What is it, little
girl?”
he said. “Don’t go walking about like that —
you’ll get cold.” I though it was a good
time
to talk, so I told him that I really was not gaining here, and that I
wished he
would take me away. “Why darling!” said he,
“our lease will be up in three weeks, and I can’t see how to leave
before. “The repairs are not done
at home, and I cannot possibly leave town just now. Of course if you
were in
any danger, I could and would, but you really are better, dear, whether
you can
see it or not. I am a doctor, dear, and I know. You are gaining flesh
and
color, your appetite is better, I feel really much easier about you.” “I don’t weigh a bit
more,”
said I, “nor as much; and my appetite may be better in the evening when
you are
here, but it is worse in the morning when you are away!” “Bless her little heart!”
said he with a big hug, “she shall be as sick as she pleases! But now
let’s
improve the shining hours by going to sleep, and talk about it in the
morning!” “And you won’t go away?”
I
asked gloomily. “Why, how can I, dear? It
is only three weeks more and then we will take a nice little trip of a
few days
while Jennie is getting the house ready. Really dear you are better!” “Better in body perhaps — ” I began, and stopped short, for he sat up
straight and looked at me with such a stern, reproachful look that I
could not
say another word. “My darling,” said he, “I
beg of you, for my sake and for our child’s sake, as well as for your
own, that
you will never for one instant let that idea enter your mind! There is
nothing
so dangerous, so fascinating, to a temperament like yours. It is a
false and
foolish fancy. Can you not trust me as a physician when I tell you so?” So of course I said no
more
on that score, and we went to sleep before long. He thought I was
asleep first,
but I wasn’t, and lay there for hours trying to decide whether that
front
pattern and the back pattern really did move together or separately. On a pattern like this,
by
daylight, there is a lack of sequence, a defiance of law, that is a
constant
irritant to a normal mind. The color is hideous
enough, and unreliable enough, and infuriating enough, but the pattern
is
torturing. You think you have
mastered
it, but just as you get well underway in following, it turns a
back-somersault
and there you are. It slaps you in the face, knocks you down, and
tramples upon
you. It is like a bad dream. The outside pattern is a
florid arabesque, reminding one of a fungus. If you can imagine a
toadstool in
joints, an interminable string of toadstools, budding and sprouting in
endless
convolutions — why,
that is something like it. That is, sometimes! There is one marked
peculiarity about this paper, a thing nobody seems to notice but
myself, and
that is that it changes as the light changes. When the sun shoots in
through the east window — I
always watch for that first long, straight
ray — it
changes so quickly that I never can quite
believe it. That is why I watch it
always. By moonlight — the
moon shines in all night when there is a moon —
I
wouldn’t know it was the same paper. At night in any kind of
light, in twilight, candle light, lamplight, and worst of all by
moonlight, it
becomes bars! The outside pattern I mean, and the woman behind it is as
plain
as can be. I didn’t realize for a
long
time what the thing was that showed behind, that dim sub-pattern, but
now I am
quite sure it is a woman. By daylight she is
subdued,
quiet. I fancy it is the pattern that keeps her so still. It is so
puzzling. It
keeps me quiet by the hour. I lie down ever so much
now. John says it is good for me, and to sleep all I can. Indeed he started the
habit
by making me lie down for an hour after each meal. It is a very bad habit I
am
convinced, for you see I don’t sleep. And that cultivates
deceit,
for I don’t tell them I’m awake — O no! The fact is I am getting
a
little afraid of John. He seems very queer
sometimes, and even Jennie has an inexplicable look. It strikes me
occasionally,
just as a scientific hypothesis — that perhaps it is the paper! I have watched John when
he
did not know I was looking, and come into the room suddenly on the most
innocent excuses, and I’ve caught him several times looking
at the paper! And Jennie too. I caught Jennie with her hand
on it once. She didn’t know I was in
the room, and when I asked her in a quiet, a very quiet voice, with the
most
restrained manner possible, what she was doing with the paper — she
turned around as if she had been caught stealing, and looked quite
angry — asked
me why I should frighten her so! Then she said that the
paper stained everything it touched, that she had found yellow smooches
on all
my clothes and John’s, and she wished we would be more careful! Did not that sound
innocent? But I know she was studying that pattern, and I am determined
that
nobody shall find it out but myself! Life is very much more
exciting now than it used to be. You see I have something more to
expect, to
look forward to, to watch. I really do eat better, and am more quiet
than I
was. John is so pleased to see
me improve! He laughed a little the other day, and said I seemed to be
flourishing in spite of my wall-paper. I turned it off with a
laugh. I had no intention of telling him it was because
of the wall-paper — he
would make fun of me. He might even want to
take me away. I don’t want to leave now
until I have found it out. There is a week more, and I think that will
be
enough. I’m feeling ever so much
better! I don’t sleep much at night, for it is so interesting to watch
developments; but I sleep a good deal in the daytime. In the daytime it is
tiresome and perplexing. There are always new
shoots
on the fungus, and new shades of yellow all over it. I cannot keep
count of
them, though I have tried conscientiously. It is the strangest
yellow,
that wall-paper! It makes me think of all the yellow things I ever saw — not
beautiful ones like buttercups, but old foul, bad yellow things. But there is something
else
about that paper — the
smell! I noticed it the moment we came
into the room, but with so much air and sun it was not bad. Now we have
had a
week of fog and rain, and whether the windows are open or not, the
smell is
here. It creeps all over the
house. I find it hovering in the
dining-room, skulking in the parlor, hiding in the hall, lying in wait
for me
on the stairs. It gets into my hair. Even when I go to ride,
if
I turn my head suddenly and surprise it — there
is that smell! Such a peculiar odor,
too!
I have spent hours in trying to analyze it, to find what it smelled
like. It is not bad — at
first, and very gentle, but quite the subtlest, most enduring odor I
ever met. In this damp weather it
is
awful, I wake up in the night and find it hanging over me. It used to disturb me at
first. I thought seriously of burning the house —
to
reach the smell. But now I am used to it.
The only thing I can think of that it is like is the color
of the paper! A yellow smell. There is a very funny
mark
on this wall, low down, near the mopboard. A streak that runs round the
room.
It goes behind every piece of furniture, except the bed, a long,
straight, even smooch, as if it had been rubbed over
and over. I wonder how it was done
and who did it, and what they did it for. Round and round and round — round
and round and round — it
makes me dizzy! I really have discovered
something at last. Through watching so much
at
night, when it changes so, I have finally found out. The front pattern does move — and
no wonder! The woman behind shakes it! Sometimes I think there
are
a great many women behind, and sometimes only one, and she crawls
around fast,
and her crawling shakes it all over. Then in the very bright
spots she keeps still, and in the very shady spots she just takes hold
of the
bars and shakes them hard. And she is all the time
trying to climb through. But nobody could climb through that pattern — it
strangles so; I think that is why it has so many heads. They get through, and
then
the pattern strangles them off and turns them upside down, and makes
their eyes
white! If those heads were
covered
or taken off it would not be half so bad. I think that woman gets
out
in the daytime! And I’ll tell you why — privately — I’ve
seen her! I can see her out of
every
one of my windows! It is the same woman, I
know, for she is always creeping, and most women do not creep by
daylight. I see her on that long
road
under the trees, creeping along, and when a carriage comes she hides
under the
blackberry vines. I don’t blame her a bit.
It
must be very humiliating to be caught creeping by daylight! I always lock the door
when
I creep by daylight. I can’t do it at night, for I know John would
suspect
something at once. And John is so queer now,
that I don’t want to irritate him. I wish he would take another room!
Besides,
I don’t want anybody to get that woman out at night but myself. I often wonder if I could
see her out of all the windows at once. But, turn as fast as I
can,
I can only see out of one at a time. And though I always see
her, she may be able to creep faster
than I can turn! I have watched her
sometimes away off in the open country, creeping as fast as a cloud
shadow in a
high wind. If only that top pattern
could be gotten off from the under one! I mean to try it, little by
little. I have found out another
funny thing, but I shan’t tell it this time! It does not do to trust
people too
much. There are only two more
days to get this paper off, and I believe John is beginning to notice.
I don’t
like the look in his eyes. And I heard him ask
Jennie
a lot of professional questions about me. She had a very good report to
give. She said I slept a good
deal in the daytime. John knows I don’t sleep
very well at night, for all I’m so quiet! He asked me all sorts of
questions, too, and pretended to be very loving and kind. As if I couldn’t see
through him! Still, I don’t wonder he
acts so, sleeping under this paper for three months. It only interests me, but
I
feel sure John and Jennie are secretly affected by it. Hurrah! This is the last
day, but it is enough. John is to stay in town over night, and won’t be
out
until this evening. Jennie wanted to sleep
with
me — the sly
thing! but I told her I should
undoubtedly rest better for a night all alone. That was clever, for
really
I wasn’t alone a bit! As soon as it was moonlight and that poor thing
began to
crawl and shake the pattern, I got up and ran to help her. I pulled and she shook, I
shook and she pulled, and before morning we had peeled off yards of
that paper. A strip about as high as
my
head and half around the room. And then when the sun
came
and that awful pattern began to laugh at me, I declared I would finish
it
today! We go away tomorrow, and
they are moving all my furniture down again to leave things as they
were
before. Jennie looked at the wall
in amazement, but I told her merrily that I did it out of pure spite at
the
vicious thing. She laughed and said she
wouldn’t mind doing it herself, but I must not get tired. How she betrayed herself
that time! But I am here, and no
person touches this paper but me — not alive! She tried to get me out
of
the room — it
was too patent! But I said it was so quiet
and empty and clean now that I believed I would lie down again and
sleep all I
could; and not to wake me even for dinner —
I
would call when I woke. So now she is gone, and
the
servants are gone, and the things are gone, and there is nothing left
but that
great bedstead nailed down, with the canvas mattress we found on it. We shall sleep downstairs
to-night, and take the boat home tomorrow. I quite enjoy the room,
now
it is bare again. How those children did
tear
about here! This bedstead is fairly
gnawed! But I must get to work. I have locked the door
and
thrown the key down into the front path. I don’t want to go out,
and
I don’t want to have anybody come in, till John comes. I want to astonish him. I’ve got a rope up here
that even Jennie did not find. If that woman does get out, and tries to
get
away, I can tie her! But I forgot I could not
reach far without anything to stand on! This bed will not
move! I tried to lift and push
it
until I was lame, and then I got so angry I bit off a little piece at
one
corner — but
it hurt my teeth. Then I peeled off all the
paper I could reach standing on the floor. It sticks horribly and the
pattern
just enjoys it! All those strangled heads and bulbous eyes and waddling
fungus
growths just shriek with derision! I am getting angry enough
to do something desperate. To jump out of the window would be admirable
exercise, but the bars are too strong even to try. Besides I wouldn’t do it.
Of course not. I know well enough that a step like that is improper and
might
be misconstrued. I don’t like to look out of the windows even —
there
are so many of those creeping women, and they creep so fast. I wonder if they all come
out of that wall-paper as I did? But I am securely
fastened
now by my well-hidden rope — you don’t get me out in the
road there! I suppose I shall have to
get back behind the pattern when it comes night, and that is hard! It is so pleasant to be
out
in this great room and creep around as I please! I don’t want to go
outside.
I won’t, even if Jennie asks me to. For outside you have to
creep on the ground, and everything is green instead of yellow. But here I can creep
smoothly on the floor, and my shoulder just fits in that long smooch
around the
wall, so I cannot lose my way. Why there’s John at the
door! It is no use, young man,
you can’t open it! How he does call and
pound! Now he’s crying for an
axe. It would be a shame to
break down that beautiful door! “John dear!” said I in
the
gentlest voice, “the key is down by the front steps, under a plantain
leaf!” That silenced him for a
few
moments. Then he said — very
quietly indeed, “Open the door, my darling!” “I can’t,” said I. “The
key
is down by the front door under a plantain leaf!” And then I said it again,
several times, very gently and slowly, and said it so often that he had
to go
and see, and he got it of course, and came in. He stopped short by the
door. “What is the matter?” he
cried. “For God’s sake, what are you doing!” I kept on creeping just
the
same, but I looked at him over my shoulder. “I’ve got out at last,”
said I, “in spite of you and Jane. And I’ve pulled off most of the
paper, so
you can’t put me back!” Now why should that man
have fainted? But he did, and right across my path by the wall, so that
I had
to creep over him every time! |