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X THE SILVER MIRROR JAN. 3. — This
affair of
White and Wotherspoon's accounts proves to be a gigantic task, There
are twenty
thick ledgers to be examined and checked. Who would be a junior
partner?
However, it is the first big bit of business which has been left
entirely in my
hands. I must justify it. But it has to be finished so that the lawyers
may
have the result in time for the trial. Johnson said this morning that I
should
have to get the last figure out before the twentieth of the month. Good
Lord!
Well, have at it, and if human brain and nerve can stand the strain,
I'll win
out at the other side, It means office-work from ten to five, and then
a second
sitting from about eight to one in the morning. There's drama in an
accountant's life. When I find myself in the still early hours, while
all the
world sleeps, hunting through column after column for those missing
figures
which will turn a respected alderman into a felon, I understand that it
is not
such a prosaic profession after all. On Monday I came on the
first trace of defalcation. No
heavy
game hunter ever got a finer thrill when first he caught sight of the
trail of
his quarry. But I look at the twenty ledgers and think of the jungle
through
which I have to follow him before I get my kill. Hard work — but rare
sport,
too, in a way! I saw the fat fellow once at a City dinner, his red face
glowing
above a white napkin. He looked at the little pale man at the end of
the table.
He would have been pale too if he could have seen the task that would
be mine. Jan. 6. — What
perfect
nonsense it is for doctors to prescribe rest when rest is out of the
question!
Asses! They might as well shout to a man who has a pack of wolves at
his heels
that what he wants is absolute quiet. My figures must be out by a
certain
date; unless they are so, I shall lose the chance of my lifetime, so
how on
earth am I to rest? I'll take a week or so after the trial. Perhaps I was myself a fool to
go to the doctor at all. But I get nervous and highly-strung when I sit
alone
at my work at night. It's not a pain — only a
sort of fullness of the head with an occasional mist over the eyes. I
thought
perhaps some bromide, or chloral, or something of the kind might do me
good.
But stop work? It's absurd to ask such a thing. It's like a long distance
race. You feel queer at first and your heart thumps and your lungs
pant, but if
you have only the pluck to keep on, you get your second wind. I'll
stick to my
work and wait for my second wind. If it never comes — all the same,
I'll stick
to my work. Two ledgers are done, and I am well on in the third. The
rascal has
covered his tracks well, but I pick them up for all that. Jan. 9. — I had
not meant to
go to the doctor again. And yet I have had to. "Straining my nerves,
risking a complete breakdown, even endangering my sanity." That's a
nice
sentence to have fired off at one. Well, I'll stand the strain and I'll
take
the risk, and so long as I can sit in my chair and move a pen I'll
follow the
old sinner's slot. By the way, I may as well
set down here the queer experience which drove me this second time to
the
doctor. I'll keep an exact record of my symptoms and sensations,
because they
are interesting in themselves — "a curious psycho-physiological study,"
says the doctor — and also because I am perfectly certain that when I
am
through with them they will all seem blurred and unreal, like some
queer dream
betwixt sleeping and waking. So now, while they are fresh, I will just
make a
note of them, if only as a change of thought after the endless figures. There's an old silver-framed
mirror in my room. It was given me by a friend who had a taste for
antiquities,
and he, as I happen to know, picked it up at a sale and had no notion
where it
came from. It's a large thing — three feet across and two feet high —
and it
leans at the back of a side-table on my left as I write. The frame is
flat,
about three inches across, and very old; far too old for hall-marks or
other
methods of determining its age. The glass part projects, with a
bevelled edge,
and has the magnificent reflecting power which is only, as it seems to
me, to
be found in very old mirrors. There's a feeling of perspective when you
look
into it such as no modern glass can ever give. The mirror is so situated
that as I sit at the table I can usually see nothing in it but the
reflection of
the red window curtains. But a queer thing happened last night. I had
beer,
working for some hours, very much against the grain, with continual
bouts of
that mistiness of which I had complained. Again and again I had to
stop and
clear my eyes. Well, on one of these occasions I chanced to look at the
mirror.
It had the oddest appearance. The red curtains which should have been
reflected
in it were no longer there, but the glass seemed to be clouded and
steamy, not
on the surface, which glittered like steel, but deep down in the very
grain of
it. This opacity, when I stared hard at it, appeared to slowly rotate
this way
and that, until it was a thick white cloud swirling in heavy wreaths.
So real
and solid was it, and so reasonable was I, that I remember turning,
with the
idea that. the curtains were on fire. But everything was deadly still
in the room-no
sound save the ticking of the clock, no movement save the slow
gyration of
that strange woolly cloud deep in the heart of the old mirror. Then, as I looked, the mist,
or smoke, or cloud, or whatever one may call it, seemed to coalesce and
solidify at two points quite close together, and I was aware, with a
thrill of
interest rather than of fear, that these were two eyes looking out
into the
room. A vague outline of a head I could see — a woman's by the hair,
but this
was very shadowy. Only the eyes were quite distinct; such eyes — dark,
luminous,
filled with some passionate emotion, fury or horror, I could not say
which.
Never have I seen eyes which were so full of intense, vivid life. They
were not
fixed upon me, but stared out into the roam. Then as I sat erect,
passed my
hand over my brow, and made a strong conscious effort to pull myself
together,
the dim head faded in the general opacity, the mirror slowly cleared,
and there
were the red curtains once again. A sceptic would say, no
doubt, that I had dropped asleep over my figures, and that my
experience was a
dream. As a matter of fact, I was never more vividly awake in my life.
I was
able to argue about it even as I looked at it, and to tell myself that
it was a
subjective impression — a chimera of the nerves — begotten by worry and
insomnia. But why this particular shape? And who is the woman, and
what is the
dreadful emotion which I read in those wonderful brown eyes? They come
between me
and my work. For the first time I have done less than the daily tally
which I
had marked out. Perhaps that is why I have had no abnormal sensations
to-night.
To-morrow I must wake up, come what may. Jan. 11. — All
well, and
good progress with my work. I wind the net, coil after coil, round that
bulky
body. But the last smile may remain with him if my own nerves break
over it.
The mirror would seem to be a sort of barometer which marks my brain
pressure.
Each night I have observed that it had clouded before I reached the
end of my
task. Dr. Sinclair (who is, it
seems, a bit of a psychologist) was so interested in my account that
he came
round this evening to have a look at the mirror. I had observed that
something
was scribbled in crabbed old characters upon the metal work at the
back. He
examined this with a lens, but could make nothing of it. "Sanc. X.
Pal." was his final reading of it, but that did not bring us any
further.
He advised me to put it away into another room, but, after all,
whatever I may
see in it is, by his own account, only a symptom. It is in the cause
that the
danger lies. The twenty ledgers — not the silver mirror — should be
packed away
if I could only do it. I'm at the eighth ,low, so I progress. Jan. 13. —
Perhaps it would
have been wiser after all if I had packed away the mirror. I had an
extraordinary experience with it last night. And yet I find it so
interesting,
so fascinating, that even now I will keep it in its place. What on
earth is
the meaning of it all? I suppose it was about one in the morning, and I
was
closing my books preparatory to staggering off to bed, when I saw her
there in
front of me. The stage of mistiness and development must have passed
unobserved, and there she was in all her beauty and passion and
distress, as
clear-cut as if she were really in the flesh before me. The figure was
small,
but very distinct — so much so that every feature, and every detail of
dress,
are stamped in my memory. She is seated on the extreme left of the
mirror. A
sort of shadowy figure crouches, down beside her — I can dimly discern
that it
is a man — and then behind them is cloud, in which I see figures —
figures which
move. It is not a mere picture upon which I look. It is a scene in
life, an
actual episode. She crouches and quivers. The man beside her cowers
down, The
vague figures make abrupt movements and gestures. All my fears were
swallowed
up in my interest. It was maddening to see so much and not to see more. But I can at least describe
the woman to the smallest point. She is very beautiful and quite young
— not more
than five-and-twenty, I should judge. Her hair is of a very rich brown,
with a
warm chestnut shade fining into gold at the edges. A little
flat-pointed cap
comes to an angle in front and is made of lace edged with pearls. The
forehead
is high, too high perhaps for perfect beauty; but one would not have it
otherwise, as it gives a touch of power and strength to what would
otherwise bea
softly feminine face. The brows are most delicately curved over heavy
eyelids,
and then come those wonderful eyes — so large, so dark, so full of
overmastering emotion, of rage and horror, contending with a pride of
self-control which holds her from sheer frenzy! The cheeks are pale,
the lips
white with agony, the chin and throat most exquisitely rounded. The
figure sits
and leans forward in the chair, straining and rigid, cataleptic with
horror. The dress is black velvet, a
jewel gleams like a flame in the breast, and a golden crucifix
smoulders in the
shadow of a fold. This is the lady whose image still lives in the old
silver
mirror. What dire deed could it be which has left its impress there, so
that
now, in another age, if the spirit of a man be but worn down to it, he
may be
conscious of its presence? One other detail: On the left
side of the skirt of the black dress was, as I thought at first, a
shapeless
bunch of white ribbon. Then, as I looked more intently or as the vision
defined
itself more clearly, I perceived what it was. It was the hand of a
man, clenched and knotted in agony, which held on with a convulsive
grasp to
the fold of the dress. The rest of the crouching figure was a mere
vague outline,
but that strenuous hand shone clear on the dark background, with a
sinister
suggestion of tragedy in its frantic clutch. The man is frightened —
horribly
frightened. That I can clearly discern. What has terrified him so? Why
does he
grip the woman's dress? The answer lies amongst those moving figures in
the
background. They have brought danger both to him and to her. The
interest of
the thing fascinated me. I thought no more of its relation to my own
nerves. I
stared and stared as if in a theatre. But I could get no further. The
mist
thinned. There were tumultuous movements in which all the figures were
vaguely
concerned. Then the mirror was clear once more. The doctor says I must drop
work for a day, and I can a ff ord to do so, for I have made good
progress
lately. It is quite evident that the visions depend entirely upon my
own
nervous state, for I sat in front of the mirror for an hour to-night,
with no
result whatever. My soothing day has chased them away. I wonder
whether I
shall ever penetrate what they all mean? I examined the mirror this
evening
under a good light, and besides the mysterious inscription "Sanc. X.
Pal.," I was able to discern some signs of heraldic marks, very
faintly
visible upon the silver. They must be very ancient, as they are almost
obliterated. So far as I could make out, they were three spearheads,
two above
and one below. I will show them to the doctor when he calls to-morrow. Jan. 14. — Feel
perfectly
well again, and I intend that nothing else shall stop me until my task
is
finished. The doctor was shown the marks on the mirror and agreed that
they
were armorial bearings. He is deeply interested in all that I have told
him,
and cross-questioned me closely on the details. It amuses me to notice
how he
is torn in two by conflicting desires — the one that his patient should
lose
his symptoms, the other that the medium — for so he regards me —
should solve
this mystery of the past. He advised continued rest, but did not oppose
me too
violently when I declared that such a thing was out of the question
until the
ten remaining ledgers have been checked. Jan. 17. — For
three nights
I have had no experiences — my day of rest has borne fruit. Only a
quarter of
my task is left, but I must make a forced march, for the lawyers are
clamouring
for their material. I will give them enough and to spare. I have him
fast on a
hundred counts. When they realise what a slippery, cunning rascal he
is, I
should gain some credit from the case. False trading accounts, false
balance-sheets,
dividends drawn from capital, losses written down as profits,
suppression of
working expenses, manipulation of petty cash — it is a fine
record! Jan. 18. —
Headaches, nervous
twitches, mistiness, fullness of the temples — all the premonitions of
trouble,
and the trouble came sure enough. And yet my real sorrow is not so much
that
the vision should come as that it should cease before all is revealed. But I saw more to-night. The
crouching man was as visible as the lady whose gown he clutched. He is
a little
swarthy fellow, with a black pointed beard. He has a loose gown of
damask
trimmed with fur. The prevailing tints of his dress are red. What a
fright the
fellow is in, to be sure! He cowers and shivers and glares back over
his
shoulder. There is a small knife in his other hand, but he is far too
tremulous
and cowed to use it. Dimly now I begin to see the figures in the
background.
Fierce faces, bearded and dark, shape themselves out of the mist.
There is one
terrible creature, a skeleton of a man, with hollow cheeks and eyes
sunk in his
head. He also has a knife in his hand. On the right of the woman stands
a tall
man, very young, with flaxen hair, his face sullen and dour. The
beautiful woman
looks up at him in appeal. So does the man on the ground. This youth
seems to
be the arbiter of their fate. The crouching man draws closer and hides
himself
in the woman's skirts. The tall youth bends and tries to drag her away
from
him. So much I saw last night before the mirror cleared. Shall I never
know
what it leads to and whence it comes? It is not a mere imagination, of
that I
am very sure. Somewhere, some time, this scene has been acted, and this
old
mirror has reflected it. But when — where? Jan. 20. — My
work draws to a
close, and it is time. I feel a tenseness within my brain, a sense of
intolerable strain, which warns me that something must give. I have
worked myself
to the limit. But to-night should be the last night. With a supreme
effort I
should finish the final ledger and complete the case before I rise
from my
chair. I will do it. I will. Feb. 7.
— I did. My God, what an experience! I hardly know if I am strong
enough yet to
set it down. Let me explain in the first
instance that I am writing this in Dr. Sinclair's private hospital
some three
weeks after the last entry in my diary. On the night of January 20 my
nervous
system finally gave way, and I remembered nothing afterwards until I
found
myself three days ago in this home of rest. And I can rest with a good
conscience. My work was done before I went under. My figures are in the
solicitors' hands. The hunt is over. And now I must describe that last
night. I
had sworn to finish my work, and so intently did I stick to it, though
my head
was bursting, that I would never look up until the last column had been
added.
And yet it was fine self-restraint, for all the time I knew that
wonderful
things were happening in the mirror. Every nerve in my body told me so.
If I
looked up there was an end of my work. So I did not look up till all
was
finished. Then, when at last with throbbing temples I threw down my pen
and
raised my eyes, what a sight was there! The mirror in its silver frame was
like a stage, brilliantly lit, in which a drama was in progress. There
was no
mist now. The oppression of my nerves had wrought this amazing
clarity. Every
feature, every movement, was as clear-cut as in life. To think that I,
a tired
accountant, the most prosaic of mankind, with the account-books of a
swindling
bankrupt before me, should be chosen of all the human race to look upon
such a
scene! It was the same scene and
the same figures, but the drama had advanced a stage. The tall young
man was
holding the woman in his arms. She strained away from him and looked up
at him
with loathing in her face. They had torn the crouching man away from
his hold
upon the skirt of her dress. A dozen of them were round him — savage
men,
bearded men. They hacked at him with knives. All seemed to strike him
together.
Their arms rose and fell. The blood did not flow from him — it
squirted. His
red dress was dabbled in it. He threw himself this way and that, purple
upon
crimson, like an over-ripe plum. Still they hacked, and still the jets
shot
from him. It was horrible — horrible! They dragged him kicking to the
door. The
woman looked over her shoulder at him and her mouth gaped. I heard
nothing,
but I knew that she was screaming. And then, whether it was this
nerve-racking vision
before me, or whether, my task finished, all the overwork of the past
weeks
came in one crushing weight upon me, the room danced round me,
the floor seemed to sink away beneath my feet, and I remembered no
more. In
the early morning my landlady found me stretched senseless before the
silver
mirror, but I knew nothing myself until three days ago I awoke in the
deep
peace of the doctor's nursing home. Feb. 9.
— Only to-day have I told Dr. Sinclair my full experience. He had not
allowed
me to speak of such matters before. He listened with an absorbed
interest.
"You don't identify this with any well-known scene in history?" he
asked, with suspicion in his eyes. I assured him that I knew nothing of
history. "Have you no idea whence that mirror came and to whom it once
belonged?" he continued. "Have you?" I asked, for he spoke with
meaning.
"It's incredible," said he, "and yet how else can one explain
it? The scenes which you described before suggested it, but now it has
gone
beyond all range of coincidence. I will bring you some notes in the
evening." Later. — He has just left
me. Let me set down his words as closely as I can recall them. He began by laying several
musty volumes upon my bed. "These you can consult
at your leisure," said he. "I have some notes here which you can
confirm. There is not a doubt that what you have seen is the murder of
Rizzio by
the Scottish nobles in the presence of Mary, which occurred in March,
1566.
Your description of the woman is accurate. The high forehead and heavy
eyelids
combined with great beauty could hardly apply to two women. The tall
young man
was her husband, Darnley. Rizzio, says the chronicle, 'was dressed in a
loose
dressing-gown of furred damask, with hose of russet velvet.' With one
hand he
clutched Mary's gown, with the other he held a dagger. Your fierce,
hollow-eyed
man was Ruthven, who was new-risen from a bed of sickness. Every detail
is
exact." "But why to me?" I
asked, in bewilderment. "Why of all the human race to me?" "Because you were in
the fit mental state to receive the impression. Because you chanced to
own the
mirror which gave the impression." "The mirror! You think,
then, that it was Mary's mirror — that it stood in the room where the
deed was
done?" "I am convinced that it
was Mary's mirror, She had been Queen of France. Her personal property
would be
stamped with the Royal arms. What you took to be three spear-heads were
really
the lilies of France." "And the
inscription?" " "Sanc. X. Pal.'
You can expand it into Sanctæ Crucis Palatium. Some one has made a note
upon
the mirror as to whence it came. It was the Palace of the Holy Cross." "Holyrood!" I
cried. "Exactly. Your mirror
came from Holyrood. You have had one very singular experience, and
have
escaped. I trust that you will never put yourself into the way of
having such
another." |